Question:

Hello, tutor, a friend introduced me to a girl. We both want to develop a long-term relationship, but she has a very cold personality. I have known her for a while and she often does not reply. I message her. Normally in this case, I would make many WeChat calls to her. Once, after calling her five or six times, she blocked me on WeChat. Later, I talked to a friend and she unblocked me. But after this time, I felt like I had nothing to say to her anymore.

In addition, her birthday is coming soon. Do you want to give her a birthday gift? How can you still save this situation and how can you impress her?

Answer:

From your description, I really feel that you like this girl very much and want to pursue her and develop a long-term relationship. However, have you noticed that there are problems with the way you pursue and the way you express your love?

Question 1: Is she really cold?

A girl has a cold personality. From your perspective In my opinion, it’s because I didn’t get a reply after sending a WeChat message. But is it really because she has a cold personality that she doesn’t reply to WeChat?

Judging from the matter of sending WeChat and not replying: Sending WeChat is a process and your behavior; not replying is One result is the performance of girls. Therefore, if a girl doesn't reply, it's not because of her problems, or because she's introverted or cold-tempered, but because of your behavior, which makes the girl not interested in chatting with you. That's why she didn't reply.

Therefore, you have to see if you have any chat problems such as having no topics to talk about, boring chat, or running out of things to talk about.

Because you have to solve the chat problem first, so the girl will not reply or ignore you. On the contrary, in fact, many girls are cold on the outside and hot on the inside. They look a little introverted and cold on the outside, but as long as we stimulate her interest points and attract her, then we will find that she actually just looks cold.

Therefore, just from the fact that a girl does not reply to your WeChat messages, we cannot conclude that she is an introverted and cold girl. From another perspective, it can actually be seen that you don’t seem to understand her very well, you don’t understand women, and you are more of a straight man.

Question 2: Is it really good to send a WeChat phone call?

When will we make a phone call? That's when we get down to business. For example, when I am doing something and I need some information, I will call the other party. This is no problem.

But when you call a girl on WeChat, I guess you don’t have anything specific to do. Maybe you just want to find her, want to chat, want to see her exist, and want to see her feedback to you.

However, you are exposing your extremely strong sense of need. At the same time, you will subconsciously demand that she must answer your phone calls, otherwise you will keep calling. YouWon't give up.

This is a very wrong behavior, because you will make girls think: you only care about yourself, and do not consider whether it is convenient for me to answer your phone calls, and you do not know how to respect me. Girls may even feel that you are a man with a strong desire for control and a strong sense of need. The transmission of this kind of information will make girls feel uncomfortable and unfree.

So after you made five or six WeChat calls, she blocked you.

In fact, this also corresponds to the first problem I mentioned, that is, the reason why a girl does not reply to WeChat and the reason why you think she is cold is actually the result of your wrong behavior. Not because she is cold and introverted.

After you understand these questions, let’s answer the two questions you asked:

1. Do you want to give birthday gifts?

As for birthday gifts, you can still give them. The best thing for you now is to just say "Happy Birthday".

If you want to give a gift, you can give it, but you must follow these two principles:

1. It cannot be very expensive.

Because a girl has blocked you, it means that she was under a lot of pressure during that time and was not free. If you give a girl thousands of dollars in gifts, it will only increase the pressure on the girl and make her I want to escape you even more.

　2. A thoughtful gift

Do you know what little things she likes, or what she has said she likes before? If so, give her one as a gift.

Just send a gift and add a simple birthday greeting. No need to say more, and then wait patiently for a reply. Normally, when she receives a gift, she will say thank you back to you.

Then you just need to send an emoticon, or say "Have fun~", and then don't say anything else.

At this time, she will definitely be curious, and she will wonder in her heart, "This boy was so impatient before, why is he so calm this time?" So after this change, she will most likely continue to chat with you.

Then in the follow-up chat, the topic should first be limited to life-related issues (such as whether she is busy recently), give her some concern about life, and remember not to talk about emotional topics, and don’t do it for the time being. I made five or six phone calls on my WeChat to apologize. (Because to apologize at this time is actually to talk about feelings)

To apologize, you must apologize at the right time. That is, the girl apologizes after her birthday and saves the situation.

You can disconnect from the girl for 3 days after chatting on her birthday. This process will make the girl subconsciously feel that you are not going to ask for her value just because you gave her a gift and let her chat with me. A girl’s defensiveness, or inner pressure, that stone in her heartThe head will come down.

Three days later, chat with the girl again and express her apology.

Only if we apologize the second time, and then apologize after there are changes, will girls accept it, forgive us, and only then will this hurdle pass. On the contrary, if you apologize immediately, the girl will think that you are just trying to win her back, and the girl will feel that you are not aware of the problem at all, and you are only apologizing immediately because you want a result at the moment, and it is just for yourself;</ p>

On the other hand, if you apologize immediately, the girl may still be in an emotional state and cannot accept your apology rationally. Therefore, if you find the right time the second time and apologize after making changes, girls will be more accepting and the situation can be better restored.

Specific methods:

After chatting for three or four rounds, you can find an opportunity to say something. The general meaning needs to be expressed: "I feel that I have always owed you an apology. Because of my previous temper, behavior, bad attitude, etc." Make an apology.

Because you are introduced by friends and you both want to develop a long-term relationship. Only after you change yourself and sincerely apologize, the girl will realize that you can continue to date, and let the girl know that you have Change is important.

After that, you need to start with chatting, establish your common topics, and be able to chat together. Take your time to advance your relationship. Of course, how to talk and what topics to talk about also need to be chosen based on your actual situation.

After this process, you will save the situation.