1. I originally wanted to be thin enough to be beautiful, but I didn’t expect to be fat.

2. What is the saddest sentence you have ever heard that makes you immediately turn around and go home? Our crystal is being attacked.

3. There are two reasons for failure in inviting a girl to hang out. One is that she is too lazy to wash her hair, and the other is that your invitation is not worth washing her hair.

A silly sentence to make your girlfriend happy. I originally wanted to be thin and beautiful, but I didn’t expect to be fat.

4. Most foodies, the so-called "going out to play" In the end, it all turns into "Let's find a place to eat and take a rest."

5. I used to think that I couldn’t find a handsome husband because the handsome guy was too easy-going; now that I have matured, I feel that I can’t find an ugly guy because the ugly one is not only easy-going but also ugly!

6 , you'd better find someone who can make you laugh. Anyway, I can't do it. I can only make you cry.

7. I put ten dollars a dozen into each of my clothes one by one. I just like to give myself a surprise when I have no money.

8. I had an argument with my girlfriend, and after a while she said: It’s okay, you can go to bed first. I confirmed again and again, and felt that everything was really fine, so I was about to go to bed, but she sent a message: After all, I was able to resist everything alone!

9. Picking up flowers in the morning and evening, all you pick up are withered.

10. A girl broke up with her boyfriend. Her classmate next to her comforted her: "What's so good about that guy? He majors in civil engineering. You can tell he's both earthy and wooden!" The male software engineering classmate next to him felt his heart freeze when he heard this.

11. Now, losing a pound of meat is like playing with your life; gaining a pound of meat is like playing.

12. I once dreamed of traveling to the end of the world with my sword, but gave up my plan because I was too fat. The young heart was always a little frivolous, and now it has turned into fat. The injured person is always hungry and needs more calories. , I eat until my brain is full of fat... (The voice of a fat man)

Thirteen. As long as you feel at ease, you will be fine in the east, west, north, and south.

14. When I was a kid, someone always tried to trick me with a lollipop. He thought it was too simple. He wanted at least a lollipop and a pack of spicy strips. I was very principled. !

Fifteen. The reason why Sun Wukong is so thin is because he burned his calories in Taishang Laojun’s alchemy furnace.

16. If you care too much about what other people think, then your life will be like a pair of pants, and you will have to follow whatever farts others put out.

Seventeen. I walked down the road with my wife at night and picked up 5 yuan on the road. My wife said that the money must be spent. Otherwise it will bring bad luck,I was dubious, but she dragged me into the supermarket and bought more than 200 snacks.

18. You can lie to me, but you must not be discovered by me. If a person doesn’t even bother to lie to others, then it is really perfunctory and annoying, hum!

19 , I was on the phone with my boyfriend yesterday, but for some reason the call suddenly got disconnected. After a while, the guy called me again, and before I could say anything, he said: Can you lose weight? Tell yourself, how many times have you done this month? Your smiling face has hit the hang-up button! < /p>

20. There are two reasons for leftover women. One is that no one looks down on them; the other is that no one looks down on them.

21. Shortly before our 20th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 20 yellow roses to my office. A few days later, I broke off all the petals and dried them. On the night of our wedding anniversary, I scattered these petals on the bed and lay on it, waiting for something wonderful to happen... Only, my husband saw my At that time, I shouted loudly: You prodigal niang, how come you eat so many good potato chips all over the bed...

Twenty-two, an apple a day can drive away the doctor. What's even more powerful is that one head of garlic a day can drive everyone away.

Twenty-three. When Dad was young, he was a fool. He wanted to go out to play the day before the Chinese New Year, but he asked your grandfather to ask him to post Spring Festival couplets. Dad quickly finished posting the Spring Festival couplets and then went out to play. When he came back, he was Your grandpa gave him a beating. Because I posted "good health" on the pig pen and "prosperous livestock" on the door of the bedroom.

Twenty-four. My mother told me today: It doesn’t matter even if I don’t pass the college entrance examination and go to university. She has already found a strong backer for me. I asked curiously: Who is it? My mother said calmly. The answer was: Guanyin Bodhisattva.