Only by taking the initiative can you chase the girl you like. There is no doubt about this. After all, not everyone has Peng Yuyan’s face and Jack Ma’s money. As ordinary boys, if we don’t take the initiative to chase girls, we may only be doomed. Been single all my life. But if you are too proactive, it may not be a good thing.

Next, let’s take a look at the disadvantages of pursuing girls too actively.

1. The sense of need is too obvious

The sense of need means that you express your desire for what you need. eager. This word is placed in love, and its derived contents are many and complex.

If you just express yourself, without further requirements, you don’t care about the final result of communicating with girls. Then your purpose and needs will not be exposed.

In order not to expose my purpose and needs, what should we do?

In fact, it is not difficult. When you get along with her, just don’t treat her as a girl. , just like chatting openly with boys, you are the most normal only when you are natural.

Of course, I know that this process may be difficult for many young people. But you can try to give her a masculine nickname first, such as Brother Yu, Danan, and get along with her as brothers.

Another point is that you don’t have to think about dating the other person every time you chat, or all the foreshadowing is to date her. This is not advisable! For example, when you are chatting with a girl, you Compliment her, say her outfit is fashionable, or that she has a great personality, which will not reveal your purpose and needs.

However, if you say that I like your personality very much, or suddenly express your strong affection to a girl, this is called revealing your needs and purpose.

Especially in the beginning, we could have been just ordinary friends. If you pay a lot of attention to a girl from the beginning, what will the girl think you want to do? I treat you as a friend and you actually want to date me? So, when you get to know each other better, you can express your interest in the girl, but Pay attention to the scale.

2. Being too considerate will only impress yourself

When you like a girl, you don’t care about her at all. Unreserved consideration and love. The first thing I think of when I wake up every morning is her. I try to send him WeChat messages every day, asking him about his welfare and being considerate.

Remember to put on more clothes when it’s cold and bring an umbrella when it rains. WeChat keeps asking are you there? Are you free? Did you have a good time today?

If you are tired, go to bed early...

Or try to ask the other person out and ask for dinner, please read Movies...

There are many similar actions, but these have a high probability of having the same result:

The girl ignores you. Even girls changeOne after another.

But never escaped Pursuing > Showing kindness > Rejection > Frustration > Inferiority > Reluctance > Continue to show kindness > Self-movement > Self-fantasy > Losing yourself > Licking... Such a vicious cycle.

There is no doubt that such a back-and-forth type of emotional dedication is difficult to achieve results. This kind of failure is actually a blow to your own view of love. After too many failures, you may develop learned helplessness in not believing in love.

Sometimes you are devoted to her and give all your good things to her. Even if she is the only one in your world, give her considerate care in life, love her emotionally, and pamper her! But it only touches yourself.

She doesn’t seem to appreciate it. You start to get anxious and try to express your love, but you are given a good person card and receive a box lunch. A simple summary is that if you are too proactive and give blindly, the other party may not appreciate it. In the end, you will only be moved and scarred all over.

3. It will make you too nervous

Under normal circumstances, girls will only choose what they like. . That's why it's so difficult to turn your spare tire into a regular one. Just like the girl you like because she has devoted a lot to you?

It’s because she has qualities that attract you, maybe it’s her personality or her appearance. That's why you like her. That's actually the case with girls.

If you keep being nice to her when she doesn’t like you, it may be counterproductive. In psychology, there is a term called mental antagonism, which can explain this phenomenon.

"Spiritual antagonism" means that when one kind of psychology appears, another opposite psychology often appears. Just like you feel embarrassed when you are praised, when you are afraid, the thought "Don't be afraid" will come to your mind.

This is originally a kind of correspondence and adjustment, but if this antagonism is too strong, problems will arise: your desire to develop a relationship with girls is too strong, and your fear of failure will also increase. ;

If you are too harsh on your nervousness when chatting with her, you will force yourself to overcome it, but if you cannot overcome it, you will become more anxious.

In this case, a strong sense of frustration will come to you. Then, you become more afraid of failure, enter a vicious cycle, and may eventually stop believing in love.

So how should boys chase girls to avoid these disadvantages?

First of all, don’t do too little and think too much. Just get along with her like a normal friend.

If you have the opportunity to hang out together, but if you don’t have the opportunity to greet her occasionally, don’t have the mentality that you have to do it with her, it will be very tiring..

Another very important point is not to worry about whether you are perfect in front of the other person, but to feel the other person's experience with your heart and let yourself enter the other person's world.

It is undeniable that chasing girls does require taking the initiative, but this kind of initiative also needs to have a degree. Just the right amount of initiative is chasing, and too much initiative may turn into "licking", so If you want to catch the girl you like, it's better to control your own needs.