If you have been passive in a relationship and do not adjust in time, it is likely that the relationship will deteriorate until the final breakup. So how can you take the initiative in love and stop being passive?
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First, let’s analyze the reasons why the relationship becomes passive.
Reason 1: "Pretend" to take the initiative
First think about it, are you "pretending" to take the initiative?
Just like the popular "pretend to be busy" "It's the same as "catching fish at work". It seems that you are taking the initiative to pay for the other party, but it is all in vain.
When chatting with the opposite sex, there is nothing else but "good morning" and "good evening". Can we find some good songs? Recommending good movies also counts?
Spend more time, use your brain, and take the initiative to provide effective emotional value to the other party. At this time, it seems that we are at a disadvantage. In fact, the more value you create for the other party, the greater your initiative.
How to provide just the right emotional value? You can send me a private message to talk about the specific character of the girl you like and the story between you in detail.
Reason 2: Lack of decisiveness
Many people want to take the initiative in social and sexual relationships. , but in fact, many times, you can’t even decide for yourself.
For example, the girl you like suddenly becomes cold towards you, and you think in your heart:
“Should you continue?”
“. .."
"How about forget it."
I want to pursue someone, but I am afraid of getting hurt. If the relationship is not handled well, the other person may also be thinking, "What do you really want?" What are you doing?"
There are many reasons why the other person is hot and cold. It may be that her emotional endurance is limited, it may be that she has a fear of intimacy deep in her heart, or it may be that she has difficulty accepting boundary fusion.
If you are not sure why she is doing this to you, you can send me a private message about your situation and don’t make any assumptions.
Always use other people’s attitudes to determine your own feedback. This is the most passive state in relationships. This is a big no-no, both in love and in relationships with others.
Now comes the topic, how to avoid being passive in the early stages of intercourse between the sexes. In fact, you only need to master three "settlements".
1. Decision
You have to figure out what you want to do, that is to say, you must first decide Be clear about your needs.
Do you want to fall in love with her? Get married? Or do you want to be friends first?There is a clear plan for the progress of your relationship, and making your own decisions is the first step to taking the initiative.
2. Judgment
Observe the other person’s status, her dress, and personal preferences. You must have the most basic understanding of the other person at the beginning of acquaintance. Use this to judge whether it is necessary for you to continue dating.
A visitor once mentioned that he knew a girl who was a girl from the Foot Washing City, but she wore a brand-name outfit. Later, this friend invested nearly 100,000 in the girl but got nothing. Only then did we know that the other party was a high-level green tea, but if he had made a judgment earlier, he wouldn't have been so passive.
Cases like this are not unique.
3. Positioning
Find your own position:
“What can I do/what can’t I do”
“My principles What is it?"
"Where is my bottom line?"
In a stable marriage and love relationship, there are two principles for taking the initiative: First, even if you like someone again, don't Forget to pay more attention to your own needs; the second is to stick to the bottom line of principles. Those who can keep the bottom line of principles are better able to protect their feelings.
